What Shall I Obsess Over Today?

um what?

2008-05-29T15:04:00.000-07:00

So I finally took a shot at emailing a guy from a dating site. He looked classy enough. I sent him my screen name and here is an excerpt from the lovely conversation that followed.

MadisonAve223: k i sent them
jsaunders1045: k brb
jsaunders1045: not working
jsaunders1045: send the pic to my email
MadisonAve223: oook
jsaunders1045: let me kno when u sent
MadisonAve223: k i sent them
jsaunders1045: i can tell by looking at your ics
jsaunders1045: you wouldnt like me aa boyfreind
MadisonAve223: oook
MadisonAve223: who said anything about boyfriend?
jsaunders1045: i have a downfall most women hate
MadisonAve223: um which is?
jsaunders1045: i like alot of bj's but neverb ene with a girl who likes to give them
MadisonAve223: this is the weirdest thing i've ever heard
MadisonAve223: its ok if you're just not attracted to me
jsaunders1045: i am
but are you ok with a guy like me who likes them alot
MadisonAve223: is this customary polite first conversation?
MadisonAve223: i mean there are of course plenty of things i could lay on the table, but you generally dont do that in a first conversation
MadisonAve223: i am thinking you think im attractive enough to blow you, and you want to establish your intentions
jsaunders1045: just want to know if you like giving them thats all
MadisonAve223: ok i think this conversation is done

Seriously?

Answer: This guy

2008-04-18T20:51:00.000-07:00

I'm scared

Love,
Chatie

Answer: Disney World

2008-04-11T18:42:00.000-07:00

Hiya

I really, really like Disney World. I've been 5 times. I went 3 times with my family, once with a few high school friends and once with a boyfriend. I'm getting the urge to go again. Anyone interested?

I'd like to share some interesting anecdotes from some of my visits.

1. Circa 1984ish
I filmed a t.v. commercial with Goofy during my first trip there. Although I have no recollection of it, being 4, my parents took pictures and whatnot.

As the story goes, it was our first trip there as a family. We were entering the Magic Kingdom and walking through the gates, some people pulled us aside. Apparently I was the kind of kid there were looking for and proceeded to ask my parents if they could film me with Goofy. In the old Niezgoda albums there are pictures of Goofy and I sitting on the lawn, chatting it up. Now if the commercial actually aired, we don't know. My parents never saw it, but I'm still totally a star.

2. Circa 1994ish
My 8th grade teachers were not thrilled that we were being taken out of school. Now being a teacher I understand their frustration, but whatever man, I was a smart kid and they can suck it.

We took this trip around Thanksgiving and it was pretty boss. It was the first time the twins (my brothers who are now 20) were joining us. The park is next to empty around this time of the year, so we happily ran past all of the signs dictating the amount of wait time from those points.

We spent our second day at Typhoon Lagoon. We frolicked around having a jolly time for quite a while. Then, my poor daddykins, while enjoying a lovely tube ride, was spun out of control by a rouge whirlpool. Amidst this spinning, his foot slammed into the not-so-soft wall. In the end, he was left with 3 broken toes.

Watch out, man!

He had a cast put on and donned crutches. This presented many problems, as you might imagine. I must say though, we didn't have to wait in any lines. That was pretty sweet.

Not so sweet: my mom had to do the driving. Nitz has a fear of any road that has more than two lanes or one that involves merging. I think it's been like 5 years since she's even tried to maneuver the Northway. Her standard exclamation for stressful driving is, "Feel my palms!". My standard response is, "No thanks."

Anyway, my daddykins is like the king of consumers. I mean, this is the man who tried to return Christmas M&M's to CVS after Christmas because they went on clearance.

As you can guess, he wasn't gonna let Disney get away with this. He had my mom take some pathetic pictures of him standing by the pool in his cast. Then he wrote an extensive letter to Disney about how his vacation had been tainted by their ride. Disney gave us some money and some tickets, which was pretty cool.

3. Circa 2003ish

This was the trip with a former boyfriend. Of course that title is open to interpretation, because he claimed afterwards we were never in a relationship. That's fine man, but you totally scooby-dooed me with the whole meet-the-parents and a week long vacation to Florida thing.

Anyway, we spend a week down there, mostly just hanging out at his parents' vacation house (like 2 hours from Orlando). We only spend two days in Disney: the first day of the week at Typhoon Lagoon and the last two days hopping around Epcot, MGM and the Magic Kingdom.

We finished up the last day watching the fireworks at the Magic Kingdom. As the program ended, we proceeded to exit the park with the 10,000 other people who were leaving. At this point in time I lost track of him. Just use my cell, right? Wrong. I had discovered merely an hour before that Verizon, unimpressed by the lack of money I'd sent them, had shut off my phone. So ghetto, I know. I looked around for a while to no avail. Then I had to start asking people if I could borrow their phones to find him. This took a couple tries and about a half hour. He was none too pleased when we finally met back up.

This was pretty much the end of our non-relationship.

4. Circa 2008ish

I'm ready for another trip. Who's down?!

Stay classy, Poughkeepsie

Chatie

Answer: Joel McHale

2008-04-02T19:00:00.000-07:00

I love him.

Answer: My love for kids' books

2008-04-01T17:45:00.000-07:00

Guess what? I like it my job, a whole lot.

I get to teach children how to read. Overall, it's pretty boss. I won't bore you with the inane details of the building blocks of literacy, but I do want to share some awesome kids' books I've encountered lately.

My favorite books for emergent readers (like mid-end kindergarten) are these sets called Brand New Readers. They are easy, predictable, and most of all, funny. I haven't met a child yet, boy or girl, good reader or struggling, who doesn't like these books.

My favorite character is Worm. He overheats easily, strives for perfection and often reaches high levels of anxiety.

Exhibit A:

Worm gets a fan. Worm is still hot.

Unfortunately the pictures didn't stretch too well. However, I hope the picture still conveys the extreme level of distress this worm is in.

Exhibit B:

"I don't like it." says Turtle. Worm paints a picture.

If you can't quite make out what's going on, I'll explain. Worm has created a masterpiece of an evergreen, which I think is pretty awesome for someone without hands, let alone opposable thumbs. Turtle shares his critique (I don't like it) and Worm clearly has a small mental breakdown. He proceeds to discard the tree painting and begins working on a new one. If you ask me, Turtle was kind of being a dick.

Anyway, that's a snapshot of the Brand New Readers. They are perfect for teaching young children how to read, and amusing the adults who have to help them.

Next, let's jump up to fifth grade/ middle school. Now I don't know how Jim Benton did it, but he somehow captured the essence of what it is to be a girl in middle school. Astonishingly enough, he makes it humorous. He does this all in the Dear Dumb Diary series.

The books' main character, Jamie, spends ample time investigating one of the most important issues one must face in middle school: popularity. The book is filled with amusing sketches and diagrams to elaborate on certain topics:

I love it, it's so perfect. By the way, Angeline is that quintessential, pretty, popular girl who is really just a huge bitch. Here's Jamie's rendition of her:

I find this pretty funny, since she bears quite a resemblance to my middle school arch nemesis. I am so tempted to put a pic of her here so you can see, but I don't want to taint my blog like that. And I am a bigger person than that. And...I'm afraid she'll somehow find it, so we're just not gonna do that.

Stay classy, Poughkeepsie

Chatie

Answer: Pink eye and personal space, respectively

2008-03-31T11:39:00.000-07:00

Don't worry, I don't actually have it; I just thought I did.

I woke up this morning just fine, only a little groggy from a late-night aim session.

I took my shower and started to feel a pain in my eye. I wiped it with a towel and assumed it was just a rouge drip of shampoo. However, when I got out and looked at my eye, I saw it was completely bloodshot.

Now I'm a pink eye veteran and was surprised I didn't have any of the other symptoms, which are gross and shall not be discussed. However, one of my colleagues had it two weeks ago and it was a horrid, viral case.

I decided it was better to be safe than sorry. I decided I would take the day off and visit Dr. Bean at Empire Vision, because she's pretty much the bomb diggity when it comes to my eyes.

However, a half hour later my eye was completely clear again. Oh well, no point in calling the schools back at that point (the kids will still need help learning to read tomorrow). Therefore, I climbed back into bed for a lovely mid-morning nap. It was freaking awesome AND I still had tons of time after my nap to make doctor appointments I never have time to make during the school day. Word.

Now for something completely different

Let's talk about personal space. It's a must. for this girl.

Exhibit A:

That's me at a Counting Crows concert this past summer. That's the girl who invaded my personal space. As you can see I am attempting to bite her.

Ever since my family and I attended the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, like, 11 years ago (I'm guessing it was circa 1996 because the Backstreet Boys were on a float) I've had some serious crowd anxiety.

I'm okay if it's crowded, as long as people evenly space themselves, are courteous to those around them and/or follow the rules of traffic. Oh, I am aware these expectations are way too high for the general population, but I'm just putting it out there.

I am not a fan of people who try to stuff themselves into an already densely populated area, with no regard to the people already there. The girl, your honor, seen in Exhibit A above, has broken one of my cardinal rules of personal space. However, just to set you all at ease, I didn't bite her. There, in fact, are no consequences for those who break my rules of personal space. I get aggravated, but knowing my standards are way too high, I simply just grumble and try to get out of the area.

This is probably why I'm not so much a city girl. However, I have made significant gains in the area of sidewalk-crowd maneuvering. Still, I believe it's the suburbs in general that suit my neurotic tendencies.

Let's end on a happy note.

I like cake.

I like it a lot.

Stay classy, Poughkeepsie

Answer: Easter Morning

2008-03-30T07:17:00.000-07:00

I'm not much for buying into religious visions that appear on the sides of buildings or slices of cheese. But seriously, look at this egg I dyed.

Not cool, Lucifer, not cool. With all of my sick artistic skills, I don't think I could've put such an image on an egg if I had tried. Needless to say, after sharing it with the fam during brunch, I ate this egg and felt fine. The rest of the eggs came out beautifully, free of demonic visions.

Exhibit A:

I also had fun making them. It was much more fun than cooking or cleaning, and yet I was still contributing to our Easter Brunch. Nitz and I even took some time out to rock out to some Spring Awakening.

She's chilled way out in the past couple years, as you can clearly see. My dad has chilled out as well, yet still refused to take any part in our mid-morning performance.

I'll close with a little shout out to the cutie dove who welcomed us back from a way-too-early morning mass.

Hi little guy.

Stay well everyone and

Stay classy, Poughkeepsie.

Answer: The Birds!

2008-03-16T15:36:00.000-07:00

I've been living in Poheezie for about a year and a half now, and have an ongoing obsession with the birds who frequent the pond in my apartment complex. These birds include but are not limited to about several dozen Canadian Geese, Mallards, and seagulls, two ice-loving Swans and this freak of nature:

He is a Muscovy duck btw. I did not know this until I googled his description last Thursday evening.

Our first encounter was Thursday morning when I was leaving for work, late as usual. Btw, it takes me about 25 minutes to get to work, but I enjoy subjecting myself to stress and pressure. Therefore, I leave 15 minutes before I need to actually be at work.

Anyway, as I'm speeding up the road past the pond, I see this awkward specimen. I slowed down just enough to turn and examine it's weirdness. I then proceeded to literally shout, "What the fuck are you?!" Note: this is not the first nor will it be the last time I've yelled at the birds.

Anyway, the mystery has been solved, and I guess his appearance isn't too uncommon in North America. However, let me now share some bird behavior I find to be quite peculiar....

stop looking at me swan

WTF. Apparently these birds have not heard of this little concept called migration. From what I've heard, it makes quite a lot of sense and serves a helpful purpose: survival. If you ask me, the ducks in the first picture looked pretty fucking cold, probably because they were sitting on mother-loving ICE. And while I don't have any pictures to prove this, the pair of swans looked pretty cold and pathetic after a few weeks of hanging out in the sub-zero weather.

That's all for now. As warm weather is increasing at an exponential rate, we (sadly meaning I) await the inevitable arrival of the goslings. I look forward to sharing the pictures as proof of their serious, shared death wish.

Stay classy Poughkeepsie

Chatie